By Megan Looney
To hit on a woman in the gym or not: That is the question.
All too often we hear that it’s taboo to try to flirt with a fit female in-between sets.
When we women break away from the treadmill to brave the free-weight floor and sweat-covered squat racks, we already know that the odds are against us. So, headphones go on and defenses go up.
That’s not to say that we’re not up for a little break-time banter… we’re just not down for dudes who are gonna be weird AF.
There’s a right way and a wrong way to do this, my manly meatheads.
And lucky for you, we got some fit, beautiful women to whey in (see what I did there?) on what not to do in an effort to save you from some mace straight to the face… as well as some tips on what really works. You’re welcome.
I’ll start things off…
“I had just finished a late lifting session and hopped on the Stairmaster at midnight for a quick cooldown. Some random guy picked the treadmill directly behind me when there were literally (LITERALLY) at least 26 other options. Subtle, real subtle. He then continued to follow me out into the dark parking lot, unbeknownst to me, where he knocked on my car window to say, “Hey! Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you but I think you’re really pretty and I’d love to get your number.” Chances are, the answer is gonna’ be, “AH!! F*#k no! Stranger danger!”
– Megan Looney
“Eye contact first…”
“Try and make eye contact first. If she’s obviously in the zone to the point where she doesn’t look back, abort mission and don’t approach. If she makes eye contact and smiles, wait until after she’s done with her set before approaching and keep it quick. Either offer your phone number or see if she wants to lift together some time. As soon as she answers, let her get back to it. Don’t offer to spot because some girls get offended by it. I’m one of them.”
– Morgan Polak (@Morgan_NPC_Fitness)
“Don’t say ‘For a girl‘…”
“Don’t say ‘for a girl’ when complimenting my strength, speed, or ability. I will immediately hate you. And don’t spot me on overhead press uninvited by lifting half the weight on my warm-up sets.”
“Leave me alone until I’m done…”
“The best way to hit on me at the gym is to not interrupt my workout! I don’t need help with form, I know what I’m doing and I don’t want your input. Leave me alone until I’m done. Then I will have the positive endorphins and good energy to have a conversation. Be direct, and keep it short and sweet!”
“Just don’t be creepy…”
“I like a smile on the floor, and then a convo when I’m done, or before my workout. The rule of thumb is just don’t be creepy, maybe say ‘hi’ first, smile. And then next time maybe ask how I’m doing, to break the ice, and then a basic conversation to see where it goes.”
– Anne Apodaca (owner of www.electriclifefitnessstudio.com)
“Do NOT invade my space…”
“A genuine smile is the bestest! [I like] when they follow you with their eyes but do NOT invade your space and set up in your area… Dude you were doing triceps now you doing legs?”
– Karen Howes
“Don’t send me a DM…”
“DON’T send me a DM on social media saying ‘I’ve seen you at _____ gym!’ but never talk to me in person.”
– Amanda Hernandez (@Amandaxrebecca)
4:30 a.m. chat-ups? Nahhhh….
“Do not attempt to talk to me on the stair mill at 4:30 a.m., or anytime actually.”
– Nichole Quiroz (www.facebook.com/nicquiroz)
“Don’t try to show off…”
“Don’t ask if I want to race or have a competition. Also, don’t try to show off – I’m not here to judge you, I’m here to focus on me. Do: just say ‘hi’ when I’m not in the middle of a set. The convo doesn’t need to be gym related.”
– Lucy Young
“I don’t get hit on, just stared at! Not sure if I’m being stared at ‘cause my form is off or ‘cause the guy’s a creep! To guys: don’t stare! It’s not polite.”
– Elaine Agonoy
“Keep it short and entertaining…”
“Be mindful of the vibe she is giving off and if she is receptive to an interaction, otherwise you will just annoy her and shut down any chance of getting to know her further… Showing off is definitely a NO, and is definitely obvious, even if you think you’re being sly. If you are going to have a conversation with her, keep it short and entertaining. Keep her wanting to talk more but save it for later. Don’t have your entire first date convo in the weight room. Side note about the technique topic: do not give UNSOLICITED advice on her form to seem like a hot shot. It’s gonna’ make you seem arrogant.”
– Hannah Leigh
“Don’t disturb my peace…”
“The gym is the only place where it’s ‘me’ time. I put my headphones on and just disappear in my own thoughts. The gym isn’t my ideal place for conversation but if someone wanted to hit on me, either do it when I first get in or as I’m leaving. Don’t disturb my place of peace and tranquility.”
– Jessica Paris
What REALLY Works
It seems like the general consensus is that chatting up a woman in the gym is like playing with fireworks: Might blow up in your hands, might be super romantic.
But if you’re someone who’s been known to ignite the fuse regardless, then pop a top T-Booster, man up, and try this one simple tried-and-true trick:
No, do not assault her. Just keep it simple, stupid.
Don’t interrupt her workout, keep the conversation short and sweet, and maybe throw in a non-creepy comment preferably not about her body. Try complimenting her form, her badassery or her workout gear. Keep in mind that she might actually be timing her rest period, so avoid lingering.
(Pro Tip: Leave the headphones at home. They make you look unapproachable and antisocial.)
While there are many amazing creatures in your local gym wildlife, weight-lifting ladies are among the rarest. She’s strong, she’s not easily impressed, and she knows what she wants. A straight-forward and friendly approach is your best bet at getting an out-of- gym rendezvous.
Now go get ‘em, Tiger!
Ladies, want to chime in? Guys, have a funny gym pick-up fail story… or a line that actually worked? Share it in the comments section below!